And The Abyss Gazes Back
by chaiteadreams
Summary: Post 6x05. Bonnie gets stuck with Kai, who tortures her and she kills herself painfully from starvation. She thought death would be better than being Kai's toy and the end was the end but she should know better than anyone, that death isn't always permanent. Rated M for dark themes.


Don't hate me for starting a new story while I still have others to update. I do what I can.

* * *

"You bitch," He growls as yanks her hair forcefully pulling her to her feet. The move causes her magic to stir in her bones.

She knows what he's after. She tries to recoil from his touch.

Too late.

His hands are on her skin. Robbing her of her way and will to fight.

She refuses to scream; not as he violently steals her birth right or as he viciously beats her caramel skin bloody and bruised.

She cries silently when he calms down, his rage quiet and resigned. Then he _touches _her.

"Shh," He says as his weight presses down on her already tender body and his lips are hard and hot on hers. She winces but doesn't fight, fearful that his quiet rage will rear up once again and he'll strike.

He doesn't last long.

"It's been a while," He says sheepishly by way of explanation like he's apologizing to his girlfriend or _someone willing._

Bonnie can't remember how long he keeps her naked and bound on the bed, vulnerable and worthless. She wonders if Damon got home safe. She wonders if her sacrifice was worth it. She wonders if they're searching frantically right now for a way to save her.

_Doubtful, _her subconscious supplies. _It's funny how you're stupid enough to die for your friends but they won't do shit for you. The only way out of this would be to kill yourself to save you this time._

She blanches at her thoughts not because of the gruesome nature of them but because of the appeal. She can escape his touch, some fleeting and gentle, others rough and punishing.

Her death is not easy, he doesn't allow her use of her limbs so the only way she can have her way is by starving herself and he's not sympathetic to her pain.

"Looking a little sick Bon Bon," He observes as he undresses. "You should eat up so I have someone to play with. If you die I'll have to fuck your corpse...I wonder how long I can preserve it."

She doesn't flinch at his words or his touch anymore. It's a week again until her body rejects food and she can feel her organs failing. She's close.

She dies without fanfare on a cold night, shivering and her teeth clattering. She vaguely wonders how much more Kai will demean her already soiled body but she's quickly tugged away from that train of thought by the prospect of what she's heading into.

_Anything's better than this_

There's nothing. Only darkness and she's _nothing_. She doesn't exist and she's alright with that.

* * *

-3 Months later-

Something stirs in the darkness and then Bonnie's suddenly aware of the nothingness. Her mind, the only remnant of her being is sluggish. She doesn't remember anything at first but it seems as if she won't let herself forget anything either.

Time doesn't exist here in...The Darkness and she doesn't know how long ago it was that she escaped Kai. It could have been days, or months, or centuries.

Something stirs when she thinks centuries and memories of Stefan and Damon rise to the forefront of her mind, replaying themselves in slow motion. She can't help but dissect them carefully and the feeling she'd attached to it at that moment it time.

The Darkness stirs again when she goes over something particularly painful. The darkness clings to it, exaggerating her pain and putting it on loop.

She would scream if she could but she is nothing more than a consciousness and she's losing her mind watching her grams die over and over or her so called friends use and discard her.

Bonnie Bennett is no stranger to death. She's actually friends with it. Having died so much times for what she thought were righteous causes. She and Death have walked hand in hand. They have been friends, lovers, enemies and she yearns for it right now. For death to caress her and lay her gently in it's cradle of infinity and for her to not exist because it may just be better than whatever this is.

_I'd do anything to get out of here._

She can feel amusement. It's tangible now and the curious darkness that's been feeding off her pain and anger and it hisses in her mind. Hard and sharp, grating on her already unraveling sanity.

_Anything? _It questions. _I can get you out of here_

_What do I have to do_?

_Play a game, _it says and Bonnie would have thought it innocent if not for the grating of the dark voice in her mind. It feels wrong. _Be my messenger. _

She should ask a messenger of what but the re materializing of her naked body startles her. She feels healthy, like she hadn't just starved herself to death. The darkness wraps its tendrils around her and she fidgets. _I want out of here. I'll give anything._

The darkness shivers and Bonnie is about to regret her proclamation but the darkness is dissolving, pushing her out and she's filled with such painful relief and happiness at the prospect of freedom, her mouth clamps shut.

* * *

Being alive again is interesting, mainly because she's not completely alive but she doesn't care as she flexes her limbs and re-adjusts her vision. She's naked; standing in the middle of a lush forest. She thinks it's the garden of Eden, where new life has been created _except_ The Darkness has decided to warp the genesis story and create something better than human. It's dissatisfied with god's final product.

Bonnie pushes her way towards the sound of civilization. A good 3 miles off and she hear the cars drive by on the semi-busy highway. Her muscles flexes and she moves quickly. Quicker that she knows vampires move and the glee that rises up in her is intoxicating. She slows her pace when she comes to road, walking into the middle. Her naked state doesn't bother her which she should be concerned about but she just isn't.

The sun has set and it's a full 4 minutes before she sees headlights approaching. The car slows and stops completely. A petite brunette girl steps out of her car and Bonnie turns to look upon her concerned face. _She looks like Elena, _she thinks and distaste rises up so quickly in Bonnie's throat that she doesn't play along with the script. Instead her eyes turn blood red and she feels heavy bloody tears roll down her cheeks and she uses her superior speed to crowd the girl's space and look up at her terrified face.

She tries to get away but Bonnie grabs her neck in a casual display of strength and lifts her off her feet slamming her against the shiny car until her body is limp and mangled and the pretty girl's bright red blood has painted Bonnie's body and the now not so pretty car.

Bonnie drops her victim and licks the blood off her hand. It tastes salty and disappointing and she sneers, wondering why vampires had such little control when it came to human blood.

* * *

He awakens to a small space,it's padded interior familiar and surreal. It takes him a moment before he collects his blurry pieces of memories.

Him dying by the hands of those Gilbert twits.

Watching his siblings from the other side.

The other side disintegrating and then…

Nothing.

He was nothing and then he was here. Trapped in the coffin that had been his home for several centuries.

Mild disinterest is what rises up in him when he thinks about how tacky his siblings are burying him in this old coffin. Couldn't they have pooled some cash and sprung for something a bit nicer?

Urgh.

Kol slams the palm of his hand against the roof of his coffin and surprisingly it splinters even though he knows he was barely using any of his strength due to the cramped quarters. It takes barely any time at all for him to claw his way out of the bowels of the earth.

He inspects his body and dusts the dirt from his suit which doesn't do any good because it had rained recently making the dirt wet and soggy. He needs a new change of clothes.

He finds a log cabin nearby where he's able to get a change of clothes and a snack in the form of the lovely elderly homeowners. Something's different, he knows when his fangs extend, way longer than that of a normal vampire and he catches a glimpse of himself in the mirror and sees his eyes an odd yellow colour.

When he's sated and he's raided the cabin for anything of interest then does he find himself without a plan. He contemplates his options for a while, each more unappealing than the last before something whispers in his mind, soft but insistent and he heeds it; going where it leads him.

* * *

Bonnie leaves a trail of bodies in her wake.

Not intentionally. Well _mostly_ unintentionally.

Everything seems to irritate the former anchor, spilling over into a fit of rage that leaves her slamming people's heads into walls, watching their brain leak out of their cracked skulls and feeling satisfied but not by much. When the mangled corpses are on the floor she seeks out the liquor or any other substance she can abuse. She hits the jackpot with the third house she comes to which is a den of addicts. High and carefree which causes her rage to boil over. She hits the jackpot with a cache of coke and heroin which she mixes with ease shooting up until her rage simmers and she's tired.

_Home _She thinks as she sits on the stained couch and stares up at the ceiling, _I should go home… to a nice warm bed and… _

Images of her father and her grams and her mom flash in her mind's eye and she closes her against them. She doesn't have a family anymore and she's not their Bonnie anymore.

_Caroline, _Her mind supplies and a small bit of warmth blossoms in her chest before its gone just as fast. She sits unnaturally still for an extended period of time before her mind travels back to the darkness and she flinches, looking down at her body. It's hers but not really… not anymore.

_Go see your friends, _Her mind says once again and she suddenly knows that it's not her own thoughts because it holds too much amusement.


End file.
